A Letter I Wrote To a Friend About Love

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When I was 19, I apparently thought I was the love guru (since I had so much experience being in love) and so I wrote this letter to my friend to try to convince her to tell a certain boy that she liked him. Also, I’m pretty sure I was listening to Taylor Swift around this time/watching Letters to Juliet.  And I’m pretty sure that it was around this time when I would constantly look up motivational quotes on the internet. I was also very dramatic.  But anyway, I wanted to share it because even though it’s cheesy, and dramatic and maybe even rather silly, I think I still have a lot of my 19 year old self inside of me when it comes to my ideas about love.

Dear You, 

“‘What’ and ‘if’ are two words as nonthreatening as words come. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: ‘What if?’…”

I was thinking the other day why everyone is so scared to admit they like someone. What is so scary about love anyway? Hatred is scary. Pain is scary. Suspense is scary. But love is not. Love is beautiful and magical and flowers for no reason and shining stars and handmade cards and holding hands and happiness and everything else that is lovely in this world. So don’t be afraid…it’s only love, after all. 

But despite all this, you’re still scared. I’m still scared too. I’m scared of things not working out as I planned.  I’m scared that he doesn’t feel the same way. I’m scared that if I say something, I’ll ruin my friendship with him forever.

Then I remembered that love is FEARLESS.  And fearless is falling for someone even though a million other things stand in your way. Fearless is getting butterflies every time you see him and not knowing how to contain yourself because maybe he’s not the person you thought you would ever fall for yet you’re falling for him anyway. I think you’re fearless. And I don’t want you to ever give up on love because if you give up on love then you give up on everything that is beautiful and magical and happy and good in this world. If you stop believing in love, then what do you believe in? You believe in hatred and coldness and indifference and despair. And that’s the saddest thing in the world.

You know how you always bring up the ‘rules of feminism’ and say that you can’t date him because he had a thing with your friend in the past?  Well, I realized something the other day. LOVE HAS NO RULES! Love never said that a boy like him could never like a girl like you, just like it never said he can’t ever change his mind and neither can you.  Love is surprises and twists and exceptions. There’s no pattern to it! And that’s what makes it so terrifying and yet so wildly exiting.

“Maybe in love, it’s better to know and be disappointed then to not know and always wonder.” Maybe in love, it hurts not to be loved in return but it hurts even more to love someone and never find the COURAGE to let them know how you feel.

We keep telling ourselves that we’re being patient…but maybe we’re just being cowards. I don’t want to be a victim of ‘what if’ anymore. I don’ t want to be the girl who watches from the sidelines as prince charming walks away with some other girl. I don’t want to be the girl who cries on her bed at night wishing, wondering and dreaming. And I don’t think you do either. 

I still believe in dreams. So did Cinderella. But she also believed in doing something about them. And when Prince Charming didn’t come to her, she went to the castle and got him herself.

I don’t know what I’m saying and I don’t know why this is so long. My fingers just kept typing. Anyway, I hope some of it makes sense to you. If not, you can just ignore it.

Love me

Kazandra Pangilinan

Kazandra is probably not that different from you. She eats, sleeps,and wonders about how to make the most of this life. This blog is dedicated to the trials and triumphs she has experienced in the process of growing up in her quest to find meaning, connection and happiness.

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