Not-So-Little-Anymore Sisters

Sisters
If you are lucky enough to have a little sister (or two or three or maybe four?),  then I need you to understand something:

Little Sisters Grow Up Too. 

Read it again. Let it sink in. Fully grasp the meaning behind those words. It seems simple enough but believe me, it’s not always easy to accept. I learned it the hard way.  As an older sister, I always thought of my youngest sister as the messy-haired, round-eyed child she used to be.  I thought of her as the little girl who fell asleep at the dinner table and who used to ask if she could have a sleepover in my room.  I tried so hard to freeze time and to keep her exactly as she was and the more I tried, the more she pulled away from me.

Looking back, I realize that she doesn’t need me in the same way she used to. She’s tall enough (taller than me, actually) to reach the glasses on the top shelf, she has her driver’s license, and  she’s not afraid of the dark. She’s found her way around Hungary all on her own, she’s mastered the art of putting on make-up (in fact, I’m the one asking her for tips) and she can make her own scrambled eggs.

Maybe you won’t be the first person she’ll run to when she gets hurt anymore. Maybe she’ll confide her secrets to someone else instead of you. Maybe you’ll try to give her a hug and she’ll brush you away and tell you that she’s too busy. That’s okay – because doing these things doesn’t mean that she no longer loves you. It just means that she doesn’t need you to take care of her anymore.  She’s grown into her own person

Be proud of the person she’s grown up to be.  Be proud that you helped mold her into that person just be being there. Don’t try to clip her wings and keep her exactly as you remember her from your childhood.  She will only resent you for it.  It’s time to face that fact that she’s not that same person anymore…and neither are you. You both have grown and evolved – that, my friend, is the purpose of life and it is a good thing.

Hold on to the fond memories of  who she was in your childhood. Keep those memories close to your heart and save them for a rainy day.

She still is, and always will be,  your little sister…it’s just that she’s not-so-little anymore. The sooner I accept that and the sooner you accept that, the happier we’ll both be.

Kazandra Pangilinan

Kazandra is probably not that different from you. She eats, sleeps,and wonders about how to make the most of this life. This blog is dedicated to the trials and triumphs she has experienced in the process of growing up in her quest to find meaning, connection and happiness.

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